I know it can always be worse...

I just feel the need to write today...maybe to feel sorry for myself for just a minute. The last two days, Ryan has told me that he was having trouble closing his left eye. So, like any mom, I looked at it and didn't see anything unusual. Tuesday night, the boys were sitting around the dining room table playing Monopoly and I noticed that when Ryan smiled, only half of his mouth 'smiled'...when he crinkled his nose, only one nostril 'crinkled'...when he blinked, he was definately having trouble closing his eye. I jumped on the internet to look up Bell's Palsey. I made an appointment for the doctor for Wednesday and he confirmed that it was what I suspected. Why does this have to happed to us? I understand that this is most likely a temporary condition, temporary meaning this could last a few weeks or a year or two. WHY does my baby have to deal with this? He is loaded up on Prednisone, has to have drops put in his eyes every 2 hours, and he has to wear an eye patch all day and night for at least a few weeks. I just feel like crying. In fact, I did last night after they all went to sleep. I went in to check on the boys and there was Ryan, sleeping peacefully with the big patch on his face.

I do realize that things can alwasy be worse....thank God this is all we have to deal with but it is still frightening and he is still my baby!! I wish it were me...he was so upset to go to school today. He was afraid that the kids were going to make fun of him. He was afraid because he knows that the school nurse was going to have to give him his drops. I wish I could be there to do it for him...

I just needed to vent...I love my kids and it make me sad and angry when my little guys have to go thru anything like this....but it could always be worse.....

xoxoxoxxo

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KEVIN!!

It's hard to believe that another year has passed and my babies are getting older. Kevin just celebrated his 11th birthday...11!!!! Where does the time go? Trying to get Kevin to sit still for pictures is like trying to nail jello to a tree!! So, here a just pictures of his day!!

"To Celebrate Growing Old"

A friend sent me this in an email today. It was written by a woman who had just turned 90 years of age! These are what she considers to be the most important lessons life has to teach us...go ahead and read. I guarantee you will see yourself in almost every one!

Life isn't fair, but it's still good....
When in doubt, just take the next small step.
Life is too short to wast time hating anyone.
Your job won't take cuare of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will.
Pay off your credit cards every month.
You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
It's OK to let your children see you cry.
Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
Everything can change in th blink of any eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you.
When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special
occasion. Today is special.
Over prepare, then go with the flow.
Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
No one is incharge of your happiness but you.
Alwasy choose life.
Forgive everyone everything.
What other people think of you is none of your business.
Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.
However good or bad a situation is, it will chage.
Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
Believe in miracles.
God loves you because of who God is. not because of anything you did or didn't do.
Don't audit life. Show up and mke the most of it now.
Growing old beats the alternative---dying young.
Your children get only one childhood.
All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
The best is yet to come.
No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
Yield
Life isn't tied in a bow, but it's still a gift.

9/11...We Will Never Forget

It's hard to imagine that 8 years ago today, our world would be forever changed. So many things have changed since then and yet so many things have stayed the same. I can remember the absolute horror when we put the television on that fateful morning. My brother had called from Florida and asked us if we were watching.....I can't help but feel a bit helpless this morning. It's a day that we know will come around once a year and yet, it never gets any easier. I watched the news this morning and was reminded of the sobering realization that this will happen again...it is just a matter of time. I fear for myself, my children, my family and all Americans. My heart just breaks knowing there are families waking up this morning and re-living the deaths of their loved ones...I on the other hand was able to hold my babies and kiss them good morning. My heart breaks knowing that there are so many people hurting this morning...hell, everyday, over the loss that they have experienced. I don't even know how to put my own feelings into words. May God bless us all and especially those who lost so much on that day ...and for those who continue to give their lives for our country. We will never forget 9/11...it will be forever etched in our memories and our hearts....

Backpacks packed....check, Lunches made...check, School bus tires screeching 'round the corner....PRICELESS!!!!!

So, it's Wednesday, Sept 9th and it is the first day of school. My baby is now going to middle school!! His bus was scheduled for 7:12 a.m. but the school requested that he be at the bus stop by 7 a.m. to account for the new busing schedule. I told him that I would wait with him at the stop until the bus acutally arrived....but....NNNNOOOOOO! That was never going to happen...."But Nicholas" I said...."Just let me sit in the car across the street so that I know you got on safely" and again, I got a huge NNNNOOOOOO! With my sad look on my face, he relented and said "OK...as long as you don't look at me or wave goodbye to me"...."Deal" I said...and so, I sat down the block in my car wathching my 'baby' get on the bus for Middle School...where has the time gone? It feels like yesterday when we were walking him into pre-school with his little dinasour name tag that said "MY NAME IS NICHOLAS"....God do I feel old :( .........then it was time for the elementary school bus. This bus comes at a more decent hour of 8:50 a.m. I went to work a little late so that I could send my boys off with a warm mommy wave....and a small jig in the middle of the street...ha ha ha!!! Kevin is going into 6th grade and will be the kids who "rule the school" as I am told! John and Ryan are going into fourth grade. Needless to say, they were all very excited about today....Hope it's a great year boys!!

Lazy Sunday afternoon in Montauk

Last Sunday, Pete and I decided to take a ride out to Montauk..for two reasons...the waves were amazing compliments of Tropical storm/category 1 Hurricane Bill and we wanted to have lunch at O'Murphy's. For those of you who have never been, O'Murphy's is a small town bar right in the 'circle' of Montauk. They have THE BEST MUSSELS know to mankind! Words cannot even describe!! We enjoyed a few hours lounging on the beach, watching those beautiful waves under a blue sky. It was a great day, just being together.

Congrats to our Friend Dan!!

Our friend Dan has been doing a lot of swimming this past summer...and I mean a lot!!! Back in July, he swam the 'cross bay swim' which was 5 miles!!! 5 miles!!! I can't even swim across my pool (cause I still have to hold my nose and all!!!) and he makes it look so easy. He does it all for charity! Dan asked Pete to help him this year by kayaking ahead of him as his 'spotter'...they did awesome together!!! Two weekends ago, Dan was in another swim down in Amityville. This was a two mile swim for Juvenile Diabetes. Pete joined him again and needless to say, they rocked!!! I brought the boys down to the beach that day and they were so excited to see both Pete and Dan approaching the finish line. I admire all of the people who participate in these events. Especially when it's for such an amazing cause!!!! So here's to Dan and Pete for giving their time for others!!! We will always be there to support you....just let us know the time and date and we will all be there to root you on!! I did take a few pictures of John and Ryan in the kayake and wearing Dan's swim cap, which by the way has it's 'place' on the hutch in the boys room!! Here is a video of Dan coming out of the water...it was hot and I am sure he was tired!! We are proud of the both of you!!!!!

Congrats John & Ryan!!!

Friday, August 14th, John and Ryan took their karate belt test. They did amazing and are now official Purple Belts!!!! I am so proud of you both!! Keep up the great work and before you know it, you will be taking your black belt test!

Our Florida Trip...August 2009

We just returned back from an amazing week in Orlando, Florida. Pete and I and the boys flew down last Tuesday where we were greeted by my brother and beautiful nieces at the airport. Funny cause Kasey had called us to say that they were not going to be able to come. I was upset, I have to admit, cause I have been waiting months to see the girls. When low and behold, I was bear hugged from behind by Erin...or "E" as she likes to call herself! What a great suprise!!! We spent the days at the beautiful pool where the kids literally swam for hours on end! The six of them (my four boys and Kevin's two girls) would stroll up to the pool bar and order their 'virgin' pina coladas daily...it was hysterical to watch. We all went to Disney on Thursday and lucked out with the weather. We did get the usual afternoon thunderstorms, but we only waited I would say 40 mins for the longest ride. The lines were not terrible. The kids had an absolute ball together. On Wednesday night, Pete and I put the kids (all 6) in camp at the hotel. There they ate pizza and icecream, decorated a t-shirt with fabric markers and stencils. They played miniature golf, rode the bicycles built for 8 and then finished off the night with a movie and some basketball. What a great experience for all of them!

Saturday rolled around way too fast....too depressing to even think that we were going home. How could 5 days have passed so quickly? We spent Saturday at Kevin and Trisha's house..kids were in the pool for the last time....I was already getting misty eyed. When it was time to say goodbye, Nicholas was the first to 'lose it'. Then they rest fell into place...Kasey was next I think, then Ryan, and so on and so on.....what an amazing time they all had spent together. It is always hard leaving my brother and his family. We don't get to see each other nearly as much as I would like. At least we have these memories...memories that will last a lifetime. Thank you Pete for taking us on this trip...I will never forget it! You are one in a million!!!!!

Tears

Today was the last day of camp. I was dreading this afternoon more than I actually realized. I went to see the boys last 'show' that they put on every Friday. The prepare all week with songs and dances to the theme for the week. As I sat there smiling at all the hard work the children put into it, I realized that I would have to prepare myself for the sadness. My boys are quite sentimental and I knew they were going to take it hard. John was the first to cry...sobbing was more like it. He fell into the arms of "The Big Unit"..a councelor named Mike who the boys just adored. They idolized him. Mike came walking over with John slumped over his shoulder...tears running down his face. Ryan stood near by...silently...taking in everything around him. I just stood there, looked at him and said "it's ok...." and his little brown eyes welled up with tears. He then began to cry. It was then Kevin's turn I thought...I looked over and he was holding up pretty well. He was actually getting the cell phone numbers of the councelors he loves so dearly. His favorite, Jenna, was in Florida this week, so Kevin's tears came last week and my little boy was heartbroken. His first real boyhood crush. I just broke my heart. I then turned and looked at Nicholas who held it together fine....until....we...got...into...the...car. His bottom lip started to quiver and he turned his head to look out the window of the car. He didn't need to say anything, I knew what he was thinking. It was the first time in a long time that you could hear a pin drop in that car. There were only sounds of sniffling and little hands wiping away the tears.

I have to say that I know the pain they are feeling...it wasn't too long ago that I was saying goodbye to friends in camp or at school...you sort of ached for a long time after that. I don't know why I am writing this....maybe it's a way for me to let my feelings go...I ache for my boys today...one of the many things a parent does for their kids.

Here's to another amazing summer at Saint Patrick's camp...to all the councelors, we love you! You will be forever apart of our lives. Each and everyone of you have left footprints in our hearts. You are all truly wonderful people!!!

A Great Read

A friend of mine sent me this through email. There are some pretty powerful messages.

A birth certificate shows that we were born

A death certificate shows that we died

Pictures show that we lived!

Have a seat....Relax....And read this slowly...

I believe...

That just because two people argue,

It doesn't mean they don't love each other.

And just because they don't argue

It doesn't mean they do love each other.

I believe...

That we don't always have to change friends if

We understand that friends change.

I believe...

That no matter how good a friend is,

they're going to hurt you every once in awhile

and you must forgive them for that.

I believe...

That you can do something in an instant

That will give you heartache for life.

I believe...

That it's taking me a long time

To become the person I want to be.

I believe...

That you should always leave loved ones with loving words.

It may be the last time you see them.

I believe...

That you can keep going long after you think you can't.

I believe...

That we are responsible for what

We do, no matter how we feel.

I believe...

That either you control your attitude

or it controls you.

I believe...

That heroes are the people who do what has to be done

When it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

I believe...

That money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I believe...

that my best friend and I can do anything,

or nothing and still have the best time.

I believe...

That sometimes the people you expect to kick you

when you're down,

will be the ones to help you get back up.

I believe...

That sometimes when I'm angry I have the right

to be angry,

but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I believe...

That maturity has more to do with what types of experiences

you've had and what you've learned from them

and less to do with how many birthdays you

have celebrated.

I believe...

that it isn't always enough, to be forgiven by others,

Sometimes, you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I believe...

That no matter how bad your heart is broken

the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I believe...

That our background and circumstances may have

influenced who we are,

but, we are responsible for who we become.

I believe...

That you shouldn't be so eager to find

out a secret, It could change your life forever.

I believe...

Two people can look at the exact same thing

and see something totally different.

I believe...

That your life can be changed in a matter of hours

by people who don't even know you.

I believe...

That even when you think you have no more to give,

when a friend cries out to you-

you will find strength to help.

I believe...

That credentials on the wall do not make you a decent

human being.

I believe...

That the people you care about the most in life

are taken from you too soon.

"The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything;

They just make the most of everything"

Saint Patrick's Camp - BEST CAMP EVER!!!

I have to say, without hesitation, that St. Patricks' camp has got to be THE best camp around! This is the second year that the boys have attended and they just LOVE IT!!! This, unfortunately, is their last week. Five weeks has just flown by! They have done so many things here at camp. Each week they go on two trips, some of which consist of: Sailor's Haven (Fire Island), splish splash, adventure land, Atlantis Marine world and of course, the Canoe Trip down the Nissequogue River. The boys have made some new friends again this year. This amazing camp season could not be possible without the UNBELIEVABLE camp councelors!!!! You are all truly one-of--kind!!! The boys took my camera to camp last week and took some pictures to remember this summer....here are just a few!

Congratulations to my graduate!!!

This past Wednesday, Nicholas officially graduated from elementary school to middle school. It was a great day and he was so proud!! Here are just a few pictures...a special thanks to his teacher, Mrs. Tardo, for an amazing year! You are one in a million!!!!!

One Flaw In Women

My aunt sent me this in an email today. I read it and loved it and thought I would pass it along....

Women have strengths that amaze men..

They bear hardships and they carry burdens,

but they hold happiness, love and joy.

They smile when they want to scream.

They sing when the want to cry.

They cry when they are happy

and laugh when they are nervous.

They fight for what they believe it.

They stand up to injustice.

They don't take no for an answer

when they believe there is a better solution.

They go without so their family can have.

They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.

They love unconditionally.

They cry when their children excel

and cheer when their friends get awards.

They are happy when they hear about

a birth or a wedding.

Their hearts break when a friend dies.

They grieve at the loss of a family member,

yet they are strong when they

think there is no strength left.

They know that a hug and a kiss

can heal a broken heart.

Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.

They'll drive, fly, walk, run or email you

to show how much they care about you.

The heart of a woman is what

makes the world keep turning.

They bring joy, hope and love.

They have compassion and ideas.

They give moral support to their

family and friends.

Women have vital things to say

and everything to give......

However, if there is on flaw in women,

IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH....

I know that after reading this, I look at myself a little differently....

Happy 12th Birthday Nicholas!!

Yesterday was my 'babies' 12th birthday! I cannot believe how fast time goes by. I can remember when they put him up on my stomach and announced "It's A Boy"..I however, thanks to my co-workers at the time, was convinced 'he' was a 'she'! Imagine my suprise when I learned the truth! It has been an amazing 12 years and I just want you to know Nick how much I love you and how proud I am to be your mom!!!!!!

The Yankees Win!!!

We had tickets for last night's Yankee game against the Washington Nationals. It was a picture perfect evening! The weather was beautiful and we spent it with two very good friends, Debbie and Rip! The Yankees won and we were all so very happy!! This is a picture of the four of us from last night! Thanks guys for a great time!!!

Happy Birthday John & Ryan

Sunday, June 14th was John & Ryan's 9th birthday! Cannot believe how fast time flies. It seems like yesterday when God blessed us with two beautiful boys! They have brought so much joy into our lives! HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOHN & RYAN!!!!!

Karate Awards!!

On Saturday, John & Ryan competed in their first karate competition. There were two different events in which they both participated. The first was combinations and blocks where they have to demonstrate the techniques they have learned in class. The second event was sparring where the boys wear the head gear and gloves. They score points by hitting the opponent in the head, chest or stomach. Each round they need to get three points. John placed first in sparring and third in combinations and Ryan placed first in combinations and third in sparring. They did awesome!!! They each won two medals along with trophies! We are so proud of you!! Congratulations!!!!!!